Not My Child Monday

So I came upon this girls' blog awhile back and normally she does a post called "Not Me Monday". Don't know if any of you have seen it somewhere but they can be quite hilarious and very true. :) I had thought about doing one before but just never had. Well today she is shaking it up a bit and doing a And since one of my "not me's" was going to be about one of my children I thought that today was as good a day as any to join in. So here goes...

It was definitely NOT my 5 year old little man that carried his 4 day old baby sister to the door to show my friend when I had gone to let her in. Yikes! I hadn't shown him how to carry her yet so that was definitely NOT my child.

I do NOT have a 4 year old who would go up and carry on a conversation with a scarecrow who was her height and then kiss it before she walked away. MY child would have more brains than that!

My 21 month old did NOT walk over to the diaper pail while I was changing her sister and stick her hand in the poopy diaper that was sitting on top waiting for me to wash it out. That was definitely NOT my child.

My 5 year old son does NOT yell out "Mommy don't look at that naked lady!" every time he sees a woman in a bikini or camisole top. Although I wouldn't disagree with him my son would NEVER be that blunt.

When at the beach last week I did NOT turn around and find my 4 year blond daughter standing atop the tall red lifeguard chair that clearly states "keep off" with her arms spread high very proud of herself! That would never have been MY child, besides, she can't read yet anyway. ;)

While sitting and nursing my baby I did NOT have to tell the 5 year old to stop his 21 month old sister from taking kleenex's one by one into the bathroom and flushing them down the toilet. MY daughter would never do such a thing.

When going to a prenatal midwife appointment my son would NEVER walk into the waiting room and then run out loudly announcing to me that he couldn't go in there by himself because there was a "bad guy" sitting in there when a black gentleman was in there waiting for his wife. MY son would NOT be that rude.

My sweet 4 year old does NOT come up to me almost every day and ask me if the 10lbs of postpartum weight that I still have to lose around my waist is her "baby brother" that she is wanting. My daughter would NOT be that insensitive to my feelings! :P

My almost completely potty trained 21 month old daughter did NOT come up to me with her wet panties wadded up in her hand saying "pee pee Mommy". That is definitely something she would NOT do.

This same little toddler does NOT have a severe problem with eating toothpaste where I have to make sure I remember to put the toothpaste up out of reach or else I might walk into the bathroom and find her in there sucking on the tube. My child does NOT have such an addiction!

And although I know it's not a "Not Me" Monday I'm going to put one down just because...

It was definitely NOT me who when the afforementioned incident with the 4 year old and the lifeguard chair happened did NOT consider having her climb back up there and pose for a picture because I thought it was so funny. A thought like that did NOT enter my head. :)

Well, that was fun! You should try it sometime. Hope I didn't scare you away from being friends with me and my kids now that you know what we are really like! :P

PS You can't tell who is the one that gives me a run for my money most of the time, can you? LOL!

Hope you had a wonderful Monday!